


Sum of All

by lunardreamed



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Study, Episode: s02e14 Born Under a Bad Sign, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-05-05
Packaged: 2017-12-10 11:10:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/785388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunardreamed/pseuds/lunardreamed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written after "Born Under a Bad Sign" aired.  </p>
<p>In the aftermath of being possessed, Sam doesn't need to apologize.  Dean won't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sum of All

Her phone rings once. The caller ID says “SAM,” and she doesn’t answer. He doesn’t call again. Dean never calls.

There’s no forgiving Sam. It’s an impossible quandary. It wasn’t Sam, so he doesn’t need to be forgiven. But that’s the face of her nightmares. It’s his voice that causes her breath to hitch; his name that causes her heart to pound. 

And she’ll never trust Dean. She knows now, for sure, that he will always choose Sam. 

It’s not that she blames him. Sure, she wouldn’t choose Sam over Dean, but she wouldn’t really choose Dean over Sam. A schoolgirl crush is nothing if faced with a demonic possession. She knows that you do what is necessary to stop the demon, or whatever, from causing more damage. People die; they get hurt; they get sacrificed. Hunters keep more people from dying. They don’t save the ones already broken. There’s no survivors group; no prison to hold the evil until it’s ‘reformed;' no hospital or treatment plan or support group for victims. Hunters come in guns blazing and leave before the smoke clears. She always knew that, but now she’s learning it. 

But she doesn’t blame him. Because, while she wouldn’t choose some guy she barely knows over stopping the demon, even if she did “carry a torch for him,” she’d choose her mother. If she had the chance, she’d choose her father over John Winchester. If she had a brother, she’d choose him over a boy who was crushing on her. So, there’s no apology needed, because she’d do the same thing. 

But that just means that she really can’t trust Dean. She knows the choice he’d make. 

And how can you trust your back to someone when you can never be sure that it’s yours he’s watching? 

_fini_


End file.
